Heaven
by Jih Pun
Summary: Draco's four year old wants to visit her father. Mpreg, MaleMale relationship, mentions of character death but nothing graphic, and sadness.


Title: Heaven

Pairing: Harry/Draco

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Character Death, Male/Male pairing, Mpreg, Sadness

Summary: Draco's four year old daughter asks to see her daddy.

AN: I don't ever read death fics because I just don't like them. I never thought I'd write one though. My sister wanted me to watch DJ Cammy's "Heaven" and I was suddenly inspired to write this. I was crying like a baby!

Heaven

Draco gathered his little girl in his arms. She was the most angelic being Draco had ever seen and loved. She was tiny and petite, but strong willed and fearless.

The little blond haired, green eyed girl looked up to Draco, "Mommy? Can we go see Daddy today? I want to say hi."

Draco smiled, her eyes were so bright with hope that he'd say yes and he couldn't refuse, no matter how much he might want to.

"Sure, Pumpkin. Let's get our shoes and jackets on, okay?" Draco walked to the closet and grabbed their things, sighing along the way and rubbing away some of the tension in his lower back.

Draco's hand met his daughter's small one and they headed out the back door towards the garden. It was a good walk to their destination, but the little girl didn't complain. Passing beautiful flowers and perfectly pruned shrubs; statues of faeries made the garden a serene wonderland.

Draco, lost in his thoughts, almost tripped over his daughter when she stopped suddenly. Looking up, he realized that they had made it. His eyes began to water and a lump formed in his throat, but he swallowed it down and calmed his nerves as best as he could.

The little girl squeezed his hand and he looked down to her, "Mommy? Can I have alone time with Daddy?" Her eyes were pleading again, just like her fathers, and Draco couldn't say no and nodded his head.

She let go of Draco's hand and walked toward a group of tombstones, her little white sundress and her sun kissed hair blowing with a little breeze that made it's way to her. Draco sat on a stone bench close by, his legs tired and his ankles a little swollen, and watched his little angel.

She slid her hand over the tombstone, her little fingers tracing her daddy's name. She sat down on her knees and put her hands in her lap.

"Hi Daddy! Mommy said that it's been eight whole months since you went away. I really, really miss you. Mommy says that we're safe now because you're in a beautiful place called Heaven. Is it pretty, Daddy? Mommy said that you get to build castles with clouds with your friends. Is that true?"

"We had your faaavorite breakfast this morning, Daddy. I ate it aaall up…even though I don't like milk. I learned how to tie my shoes last week. I can even tie Mommy's shoes too when I sing the bunny ears song! Mommy says I'm smart like you because you could do anything. I wished you could see me. I can swing by myself now. I miss you pushing me though. I can go waaay up high. Mommy says that makes me closer to you." She paused and took a breath, thinking of what else to say. "And I miss how you used to tickle me! My tummy would hurt!"

"I started kindergarten this year. Art is my favorite. I drawed you a picture!" She reached inside her pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. She unfolded it making the picture side face the tombstone. "See Daddy? It's a picture of us! Here's mommy holding your hand and you're holding me. I drawed Mommy's tummy big because my brother isn't here yet. I drawed a kitty too because I want one really, really bad but Mommy says he'll think about it. Did you know I carry a picture of you in my Hello Kitty lunchbox? I do!...Because I want you to be with me all day."

Draco looked on, tears falling freely from his eyes. The sad innocence of his daughter was heartbreaking.

His daughter continued, "I try not to cry, Daddy." Her little voice wavered a little, "But Mommy says it's okay to cry because I love you. I know you don't like it when I cry and you don't want me to be sad. I try really, really hard, but it hurts." A tear rolled down her cheek. "Is it true you're not coming home, Daddy? You should come back home, Daddy, because Mommy's sad a lot and he cries too. He cries all by himself a lot. It makes me sad because Mommy's only sad because we can't see you anymore. Maybe someday…someday we can visit you in Heaven! I sleep with the light on just for you, Daddy…Just in case you come home and kiss me goodnight." She got up and walked to closer to the tombstone and put her arms around it, "I love you Daddy."

She walked back to Draco and saw that he was crying too. She put her hand on his knee, "It's okay Mommy. Daddy watches us all the time and he doesn't like sad faces!"

"You're right, Sweetheart. Do you want to go swing for a little bit? I want some alone time with Daddy too."

She smiled and ran away towards the swings they had passed a little ways back.

Draco gathered his courage and walked closer to spot where his husband lay in eternal sleep and got down on his knees, his hands rubbing his pregnant belly in slow, soothing circles.

"Harry…She's gotten so big all ready these past few months. When I think about it, you picked out the perfect name for her. Kandace really is like a glitter. She's always smiling, you know, even when I know she's sad. She's strong like you and just as stubborn. She misses you more than I could possibly fathom. I was always a little jealous at how much of a daddy's girl she is, but now I miss watching you two getting into trouble together. I miss the messes you created, I miss the breakfast in bed you two made me for Mother's Day every year, I miss the looks on your faces when you let her play with her wand and something ended up broken. I especially miss our times alone. Even though I told you not to treat me like a girl, you always held me. And when I learned about Kandace, I was scared that you'd be mad because we weren't married yet. But you were a great dad; the very best hero a daughter could ever want. I wish you could be here for the latest addition to our family." Draco looked down at his belly and was crying in earnest. "I'm scared this time, too, Harry. I didn't even get the chance to tell you. I regret that the most because you never knew."

"Kandace and I are alone here. Everyone's too afraid to come around anymore. I don't know why. Ron and Hermione come every other Sunday and bring Isaac, but they're the only ones that still come around. When our son is born, we'll have the perfect family, Harry. Remember how we always wanted a boy and a girl? I was thinking of "Harrison Elwyyn" for our son's name. Harrison means son of Harry and Elwyyn means friends of the elves. Our children are truly remarkable. The garden faeries have attached themselves to Kandace. They ring the door bell every afternoon to ask if she wants to play…and Harrison isn't even born yet and the elf sprites from the willow by the pond come to me to play him music and tell him tales…truly remarkable. But I'd expect that because you are their father. I think Kandace's eyes have turned an even deeper green since the last time you were here. The bigger she gets, the more she resembles you."

Draco stopped to listen for Kandace. He could hear her laughter with the faeries and turned back towards Harry, knowing she was all right.

"I don't know what to do without you Harry. Kandace is right…I do cry for you a lot. I try not to. I try to be strong for our daughter, but it hurts, just like she said. I can't help but be sad, you know. You are the only one for me. We had been through so much together; the war, your job at the hospital, Kandace, our marriage…so many memories we made together. Kandace asks me every night if you're coming home before we pray at bedtime. I want to tell her yes so bad just so I can see that sparkle in her eyes that was only reserved for you when you made her happy."

"I only have a couple weeks before Harrison's due date. I'm really nervous since labor was tough with Kandace. My healer said that the second child is usually easier than the first and so far, everything has been fine. It's going to hurt knowing you won't be here to hold him when he's born or to hold my hand like last time. I won't have anyone to yell at for making me go through delivery again."

"I'm being selfish, I guess. I want you back home so bad. I want us to be a whole family again. I want you in every way, Harry. I miss everything. It breaks my heart to see Kandace cry and to carry that hope with her that you'll come home again. Everything hurts…Everything reminds me of you, from our bedroom where Kandace was conceived, to the willow tree by the pond we planted the day Kandace was born."

"I love you Harry and no one will ever take your place. I'm only half without you but I know you wouldn't want me to give up, so I'll try my hardest; for you and our children. By the way, Harrison's due date is predicted to be on Kandace's birthday, too. I thought that was funny. She's not too happy about it because she said she doesn't want to share her special day with anyone. I can't believe she's going to be five all ready. You've only been gone for such a short time, but you've missed so much. Every time Kandace accomplishes something she always asks me if you're watching from Heaven. She still seeks your approval for every thing. She growing up so fast and I can hardly keep up. I dread the future when she's older. I always thought you'd be the one to threaten her boyfriends! But…I guess I'm getting ahead of myself." Draco smiled through his tears and looked down at his watch. "I need to go, Love. I have to get dinner ready and put Kandace in bed soon. I'll come back soon."

Draco wiped his eyes on his sleeves, stood up, and walked towards his daughter. Sure enough, she was playing with the faeries, making flower crowns and dancing.

"Honey, it's time to go. We have to eat and go to bed soon. You're like your dad when you don't get your sleep; very disagreeable!

"And then I can say my prayers for Daddy?"

"You sure can. Now let's get going. It's getting a little chilly and I don't want you catching a cold."

Kandace grabbed Draco's hand and walked with him back into the house. She left the porch light on, like every night, "Goodnight, Daddy. I'll bring you another picture soon! And Mommy can bring Harrison next time, too!"

The End

AN: I hope you liked it. Yes, it's sad, but it's my first time writing sad stuff. If you want to check out the video I got this from, go to Youtube and look up "DJ Cammy Heaven" You'll cry your eyes out. I did!


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